sydney.

waiting and expecting

"if i cannot catch 'the sound of noise of rain' long before the rain falls, and, going to some hilltop of the spirit, as near to my God as i can, have not faith to wait there with my face between my knees, though six times or sixty times i am told 'there is nothing,' till at last 'there arises a little cloud out of the sea,' then i know nothing of calvary love." amy carmichael

"and elijah said to ahab, 'go up, eat and drink, for there is a sound of the rushing of rain.' so ahab went up to eat and to drink. and elijah went up to the top of mount carmel. and he bowed himself down on the earth and put his face between his knees. and he said to his servant, 'go up now, look toward the sea.' and he went up and looked and said, 'there is nothing.' and he said, 'go again,' seven times. and at the seventh time he said, 'behold, a little cloud like a man's hand is rising from the sea.' and he said, 'go up, say to ahab, prepare your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you.' and in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. and ahab rode and went to jezreel. and the hand of the Lord was with elijah, and he gathered up his garment and ran before ahab to the entrance of jezreel." 1 kings 18:41-46

into the light

blackbird

the beatles

blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

black bird singing in the dead of night
take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free.

blackbird fly, blackbird fly
into the light of the dark black night.

blackbird fly, blackbird fly
into the light of the dark black night.

blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arise,
you were only waiting for this moment to arise,
you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

my cup overfloweth

"father, i desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where i am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world." john 17:24

tonight at a prayer gathering, the Spirit was generous in truth and speaking through brothers there. God does desire us. we often try to stir up desire to be in the presence of God, but as mitchell said, we don't want to spend time with someone who we think doesn't desire us or want to spend time with us. that is our skewed perception of God. that he is quick to point out the areas we don't measure up, and until we do, we have no place with him. while without Christ, that is true, we have no right to be near a holy God, in Christ we have a pardon and access to the the most holy place. the veil was torn.

"for you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest and the sound of a trumpet and a voice whose words made the hearers beg that no further messages be spoken to them. for they could not endure the order that was given, 'if even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned.' indeed, so terrifying was the sight taht moses said, 'i tremble with fear.' but you have come to mount zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly (or church) of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of abel." hebrews 12:18-24

continuing...

"see that you do not refuse him who is speaking." vs. 25

and later on...

"therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." vs. 28-29

our response to his invitation to delight in him, and knowing we have full access or confidence, is to listen to his voice, obey, and worship. if the shepherd came to find you, the one lost sheep, you would recognize and rejoice in his voice, knowing safety is in him, and then obey as he leads you to the flock and to that safety.

a.w. tozer said it this way:

"if we are alert enough to hear God's voice we must not content ourselves with merely 'believing' it...commands are to be obeyed, and until we have obeyed them we have done exactly nothing at all about them. and to have heard them and not obeyed them is infinitely worse than to never to have heard them at all."

this is a call to obedience and settling for nothing less as your response to conviction. last summer while i was in china, my team and i battled for community and loving one another. we all wanted it, but i know as for me, i had a hardened heart and was in rebellion. the Spirit would whisper to me little ways to love them, but i ignored. i justified and created reasons not to do these actions of love. those who are not faithful in the small, cannot be trusted with the big. in rejecting the Spirits call, i suppressed and created an hostile environment for him.

this is not to say that we should seek obedience solely and above all, because we lean towards the law and not grace. but when consumed in the Spirit, obedience seems to come so much easier. when delighting in our Lord, obedience comes so much easier. and when it is not easy, that is when we must search our hearts and expose self in them. what i am is saying is, delight solely in him and obedience go hand in hand. you cannot really have one without the other.

"they were so engrossed with gazing upon the face of God that they spent scarce a moment looking themselves. they were suspended in that sweet paradox of spiritual awareness where they know that they were clean through the blood of the Lamb and yet felt that they deserved only death and hell as their just reward." a.w. tozer